1 twilight暮色-第2部分

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early　ones。　There；　parked　on　the　street　in　front　of　the　house　that　never　
changed；　was　my　new　—　well；　new　to　me　—　truck。　It　was　a　faded　red　color；　
with　big；　rounded　fenders　and　a　bulbous　cab。　To　my　intense　surprise；　I　
loved　it。　I　didn't　know　if　it　would　run；　but　I　could　see　myself　in　it。　
Plus；　it　was　one　of　those　solid　iron　affairs　that　never　gets　damaged　—　
the　kind　you　see　at　the　scene　of　an　accident；　paint　unscratched；　
surrounded　by　the　pieces　of　the　foreign　car　it　had　destroyed。　

〃Wow；　Dad；　I　love　it！　Thanks！〃　Now　my　horrific　day　tomorrow　would　be　just　
that　much　less　dreadful。　I　wouldn't　be　faced　with　the　choice　of　either　
walking　two　miles　in　the　rain　to　school　or　accepting　a　ride　in　the　
Chief's　cruiser。　

〃I'm　glad　you　like　it；〃　Charlie　said　gruffly；　embarrassed　again。　

It　took　only　one　trip　to　get　all　my　stuff　upstairs。　I　got　the　west　
bedroom　that　faced　out　over　the　front　yard。　The　room　was　familiar；　it　had　
been　belonged　to　me　since　I　was　born。　The　wooden　floor；　the　light　blue　
walls；　the　peaked　ceiling；　the　yellowed　lace　curtains　around　the　window　—　
these　were　all　a　part　of　my　childhood。　The　only　changes　Charlie　had　ever　
made　were　switching　the　crib　for　a　bed　and　adding　a　desk　as　I　grew。　The　
desk　now　held　a　secondhand　puter；　with　the　phone　line　for　the　modem　
stapled　along　the　floor　to　the　nearest　phone　jack。　This　was　a　stipulation　
from　my　mother；　so　that　we　could　stay　in　touch　easily。　The　rocking　chair　
from　my　baby　days　was　still　in　the　corner。　

There　was　only　one　small　bathroom　at　the　top　of　the　stairs；　which　I　would　
have　to　share　with　Charlie。　I　was　trying　not　to　dwell　too　much　on　that　
fact。　

One　of　the　best　things　about　Charlie　is　he　doesn't　hover。　He　left　me　
alone　to　unpack　and　get　settled；　a　feat　that　would　have　been　altogether　
impossible　for　my　mother。　It　was　nice　to　be　alone；　not　to　have　to　smile　
and　look　pleased；　a　relief　to　stare　dejectedly　out　the　window　at　the　
sheeting　rain　and　let　just　a　few　tears　escape。　I　wasn't　in　the　mood　to　go　
on　a　real　crying　jag。　I　would　save　that　for　bedtime；　when　I　would　have　to　
think　about　the　ing　morning。　

Forks　High　School　had　a　frightening　total　of　only　three　hundred　and　
fiftyseven　—　now　fiftyeight　—　students；　there　were　more　than　seven　
hundred　people　in　my　junior　class　alone　back　home。　All　of　the　kids　here　
had　grown　up　together　—　their　grandparents　had　been　toddlers　together。　

I　would　be　the　new　girl　from　the　big　city；　a　curiosity；　a　freak。　

Maybe；　if　I　looked　like　a　girl　from　Phoenix　should；　I　could　work　this　to　

my　advantage。　But　physically；　I'd　never　fit　in　anywhere。　I　should　be　tan；　
sporty；　blond　—　a　volleyball　player；　or　a　cheerleader；　perhaps　—　all　the　
things　that　go　with　living　in　the　valley　of　the　sun。　

Instead；　I　was　ivoryskinned；　without　even　the　excuse　of　blue　eyes　or　red　
hair；　despite　the　constant　sunshine。　I　had　always　been　slender；　but　soft　
somehow；　obviously　not　an　athlete；　I　didn't　have　the　necessary　handeye　
coordination　to　play　sports　without　humiliating　myself　—　and　harming　both　
myself　and　anyone　else　who　stood　too　close。　

When　I　finished　putting　my　clothes　in　the　old　pine　dresser；　I　took　my　bag　
of　bathroom　necessities　and　went　to　the　munal　bathroom　to　clean　myself　
up　after　the　day　of　travel。　I　looked　at　my　face　in　the　mirror　as　I　
brushed　through　my　tangled；　damp　hair。　Maybe　it　was　the　light；　but　
already　I　looked　sallower；　unhealthy。　My　skin　could　be　pretty　—　it　was　
very　clear；　almost　translucentlooking　—　but　it　all　depended　on　color。　I　
had　no　color　here。　

Facing　my　pallid　reflection　in　the　mirror；　I　was　forced　to　admit　that　I　
was　lying　to　myself。　It　wasn't　just　physically　that　I'd　never　fit　in。　And　
if　I　couldn't　find　a　niche　in　a　school　with　three　thousand　people；　what　
were　my　chances　here？　

I　didn't　relate　well　to　people　my　age。　Maybe　the　truth　was　that　I　didn't　
relate　well　to　people；　period。　Even　my　mother；　who　I　was　closer　to　than　
anyone　else　on　the　pla；　was　never　in　harmony　with　me；　never　on　exactly　
the　same　page。　Sometimes　I　wondered　if　I　was　seeing　the　same　things　
through　my　eyes　that　the　rest　of　the　world　was　seeing　through　theirs。　
Maybe　there　was　a　glitch　in　my　brain。　But　the　cause　didn't　matter。　All　
that　mattered　was　the　effect。　And　tomorrow　would　be　just　the　beginning。　



I　didn't　sleep　well　that　night；　even　after　I　was　done　crying。　The　
constant　whooshing　of　the　rain　and　wind　across　the　roof　wouldn't　fade　
into　the　background。　I　pulled　the　faded　old　quilt　over　my　head；　and　later　
added　the　pillow；　too。　But　I　couldn't　fall　asleep　until　after　midnight；　
when　the　rain　finally　settled　into　a　quieter　drizzle。　

Thick　fog　was　all　I　could　see　out　my　window　in　the　morning；　and　I　could　
feel　the　claustrophobia　creeping　up　on　me。　You　could　never　see　the　sky　
here；　it　was　like　a　cage。　

Breakfast　with　Charlie　was　a　quiet　event。　He　wished　me　good　luck　at　
school。　I　thanked　him；　knowing　his　hope　was　wasted。　Good　luck　tended　to　
avoid　me。　Charlie　left　first；　off　to　the　police　station　that　was　his　wife　
and　family。　After　he　left；　I　sat　at　the　old　square　oak　table　in　one　of　
the　three　unmatching　chairs　and　examined　his　small　kitchen；　with　its　dark　
paneled　walls；　bright　yellow　cabis；　and　white　linoleum　floor。　Nothing　
was　changed。　My　mother　had　painted　the　cabis　eighteen　years　ago　in　an　
attempt　to　bring　some　sunshine　into　the　house。　Over　the　small　fireplace　
in　the　adjoining　handkerchiefsized　family　room　was　a　row　of　pictures。　
First　a　wedding　picture　of　Charlie　and　my　mom　in　Las　Vegas；　then　one　of　
the　three　of　us　in　the　hospital　after　I　was　born；　taken　by　a　helpful　
nurse；　followed　by　the　procession　of　my　school　pictures　up　to　last　
year's。　Those　were　embarrassing　to　look　at　—　I　would　have　to　see　what　I　
could　do　to　get　Charlie　to　put　them　somewhere　else；　at　least　while　I　was　
living　here。　

It　was　impossible；　being　in　this　house；　not　to　realize　that　Charlie　had　
never　gotten　over　my　mom。　It　made　me　unfortable。　

I　didn't　want　to　be　too　early　to　school；　but　I　couldn't　stay　in　the　house　
anymore。　I　donned　my　jacket　—　which　had　the　feel　of　a　biohazard　suit　—　
and　headed　out　into　the　rain。　

It　was　just　drizzling　still；　not　enough　to　soak　me　through　immediately　as　
I　reached　for　the　house　key　that　was　always　hidden　under　the　eaves　by　the　
door；　and　locked　up。　The　sloshing　of　my　new　waterproof　boots　was　
unnerving。　I　missed　the　normal　crunch　of　gravel　as　I　walked。　I　couldn't　
pause　and　admire　my　truck　again　as　I　wanted；　I　was　in　a　hurry　to　get　out　
of　the　misty　wet　that　swirled　around　my　head　and　clung　to　my　hair　under　

my　hood。　

Inside　the　truck；　it　was　nice　and　dry。　Either　Billy　or　Charlie　had　
obviously　cleaned　it　up；　but　the　tan　upholstered　seats　still　smelled　
faintly　of　tobacco；　gasoline；　and　peppermint。　The　engine　started　quickly；　
to　my　relief；　but　loudly；　roaring　to　life　and　then　idling　at　top　volume。　
Well；　a　truck　this　old　was　bound　to　have　a　flaw。　The　antique　radio　
worked；　a　plus　that　I　hadn't　expected。　

Finding　the　school　wasn't　difficult；　though　I'd　never　been　there　before。　
The　school　was；　like　most　other　things；　just　off　the　highway。　It　was　not　
obvious　that　it　was　a　school；　only　the　sign；　which　declared　it　to　be　the　
Forks　High　School；　made　me　stop。　It　looked　like　a　collection　of　matching　
houses；　built　with　marooncolored　bricks。　There　were　so　many　trees　and　
shrubs　I　couldn't　see　its　size　at　first。　Where　was　the　feel　of　the　
institution？　I　wondered　nostalgically。　Where　were　the　chainlink　fences；　
the　metal　detectors？　

I　parked　in　front　of　the　first　building；　which　had　a　small　sign　over　the　
door　reading　front　office。　No　one　else　was　parked　there；　so　I　was　sure　it　
was　off　limits；　but　I　decided　I　would　get　directions　inside　instead　of　
circling　around　in　the　rain　like　an　idiot。　I　stepped　unwillingly　out　of　
the　toasty　truck　cab　and　walked　down　a　little　stone　path　lined　with　dark　
hedges。　I　took　a　deep　breath　before　opening　the　door。　

Inside；　it　was　brightly　lit；　and　warmer　than　I'd　hoped。　The　office　was　
small；　a　little　waiting　area　with　padded　folding　chairs；　orangeflecked　
mercial　carpet；　notices　and　awards　cluttering　the　walls；　a　big　clock　
ticking　loudly。　Plants　grew　everywhere　in　large　plastic　pots；　as　if　there　
wasn't　enough　greenery　outside。　The　room　was　cut　in　half　by　a　long　
counter；　cluttered　with　wire　baskets　full　of　papers　and　brightly　colored　
flyers　taped　to　its　front。　There　were　three　desks　behind　the　counter；　one　
of　which　was　manned　by　a　large；　redhaired　woman　wearing　glasses。　She　was　
wearing　a　purple　tshirt；　which　immediately　made　me　feel　overdressed。　

The　redhaired　woman　looked　up。　〃Can　I　help　you？〃　

〃I'm　Isabella　Swan；〃　I　informed　her；　and　saw　the　immediate　awareness　
light　her　eyes。　I　was　expected；　a　topic　of　gossip　no　doubt。　Daughter　of　
the　Chief's　flighty　exwife；　e　home　at　last。　

〃Of　course；〃　she　said。　She　dug　through　a　precariously　stacked　pile　of　
documents　on　her　desk　till　she　found　the　ones　she　was　looking　for。　〃I　
have　your　schedule　right　here；　and　a　map　of　the　school。〃　She　brought　
several　sheets　to　the　counter　to　show　roe。　

She　went　through　my　classes　for　me；　highlighting　the　best　route　to　each　
on　the　map；　and　gave　me　a　slip　to　have　each　teacher　sign；　which　I　was　to　
bring　back　at　the　end　of　the　day。　She　smiled　at　me　and　hoped；　like　
Charlie；　that　I　would　like　it　here　in　Forks。　I　smiled　back　as　
convincingly　as　I　could。　

When　I　went　back　out　to　my　truck；　other　students　were　starting　to　arrive。　
I　drove　around　the　school；　following　the　line　of　traffic。　I　was　glad　to　
see　that　most　of　the　cars　were　older　like　mine；　nothing　flashy。　At　home　
I'd　lived　in　one　of　the　few　lowerine　neighborhoods　that　were　included　
in　the　Paradise　Valley　District。　It　was　a　mon　thing　to　see　a　new　
Mercedes　or　Porsche　in　the　student　lot。　The　nicest　car　here　was　a　shiny　
Volvo；　and　it　stood　out。　Still；　I　cut　the　engine　as　soon　as　I　was　in　a　
spot；　so　that　the　thunderous　volume　wouldn't　draw　attention　to　me。　

I　looked　at　the　map　in　the　truck；　trying　to　memorize　it　now；　hopefully　I　
wouldn't　have　to　walk　around　with　it　stuck　in　front　of　my　nose　all　day。　I　
stuffed　everything　in　my　bag；　slung　the　strap　over　my　shoulder；　and　
sucked　in　a　huge　breath。　I　can　do　this；　I　lied　to　myself　feebly。　No　one　
was　going　to　bite　me。　I　finally　exhaled　and　stepped　out　of　the　truck。　

I　kept　my　face　pulled　back　into　my　hood　as　I　walked　to　the　sidewalk；　
crowded　with　teenagers。　My　plain　black　jacket　didn't　stand　out；　I　noticed　
with　relief。　

Once　I　got　around　the　cafeteria；　building　three　was　easy　to　spot。　A　large　

black　〃3〃　was　painted　on　a　white　square　on　the　east　corner。　I　felt　my　
breathing　gradually　creeping　toward　hyperventilation　as　I　approached　the　
door。　I　tried　holding　my　breath　as　I　followed　two　unisex　raincoats　
through　the　door。　

The　classroom　was　small。　The　people　in　front　of　me　stopped　just　inside　
the　door　to　hang　up　their　coats　on　a　long　row　of　hooks。　I　copied　them。　
They　were　two　girls；　one　a　porcelaincolored　blonde；　the　other　also　pale；　
with　light　brown　hair。　At　least　my　skin　wouldn't　be　a　standout　here。　

I　took　the　slip　up　to　the　teacher；　a　tall；　balding　man　whose　desk　had